"Marvel's" Thor The Dark World ★★★★

THE GODS ARE SMILING AND SO IS THE AUDIENCE

Opens in Australia: 31st October
USA: 8th November  UK: 30th October

Other Countries: Release Information

     Let’s face it, Thor (thanks to Chris Hemsworth) is the best looking hero of the Marvel film franchises, and the studio could just rest on that.  We girls would be happy.  However, not content to rest on a pretty face, they’ve taken the time to bring in the right crew to work on number two, Thor The Dark World. 
Christopher Yost (screenplay) has been head writer on many “Marvel” animations and contributed to the original Thor. Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely (screenplay) together wrote Captain America: The First Avenger and have just completed Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and have also penned all three of The Narnia Chronicles.  Then you have Emmy®-winning director, Alan Taylor, who has worked on highly acclaimed shows like Sopranos, West Wing, Six Feet Under, Mad Men and, most recently, Game of Thrones.

Together, they’ve pulled off a worthy sequel, something very difficult to do in a franchise which has created such high expectations; achieving this by ensuring all the key ingredients from the origin story-humor, action, and realism while progressing the story line and character development.

We follow on from The Avengers’ “New York” conclusion where Thor (Chris Hemsworth) has returned to Asgard and his father, Odin (Anthony Hopkins), with Loki (Tom Hiddleston) in tow, to imprison his adopted brother for his misbehavior on Earth.  But, dealing with his wayward son is the least of Odin’s problems. An alignment of the Nine Realms (occurring once every 5,000 years) is imminent, and it will open a portal between the worlds-Earth being one of them. 

Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) is attempting to forget Thor, whom she hasn’t seen for two years. While investigating an anomaly, created by the impending alignment, she is dragged into the dark world where she inadvertently reignites a war, waged thousands of years previously, between one of Asgard’s greatest adversaries, Malekith.

As leader of the dark elves, Malekith was defeated by Odin’s Father, but he returns to take advantage of the realm’s alignment to take over Asgard and cause havoc throughout the universe.  Thor must create unlikely alliances and defy his father to defeat Malekith and restore peace to the Realms and, of course, once again save Earth.

The worlds are beautifully imagined and created, heightening the realism.  The director, Taylor, and filmmakers created this authenticity while filming scenes as much as possible on location and creating enormous, realistic sets; some taking months at a time to build.  Natalie Portman felt the scale of the sets harkened back to a different filmmaking era and commented, “It’s really like the old days of cinema. You walk on to the set and you think ‘Wow, we’re making a movie’.”

True to previous “Marvel” films, the story line is again interwoven between one franchise and another, following on from The Avengers and leaving the door open for the next. There are guest cameos from the first film's characters and other Marvel characters, including an extremely amusing spot from Dr Erik Selvig (Stellan Skarsgård)—remember he the only one who understood the Tesseract weapon in The Avengers? Of course, fans of Loki will not be disappointed with his role.  He may not be quite as princely and beautiful as Thor (pretty close, though), but he delivers all the best lines. 

It’s an extremely entertaining blockbuster movie which serves, also, to whet the appetite for the next installment, Captain America: The Winter Soldier.  If the “notorious” Marvel credits scene inserts (two: one in the middle and one at the very end, so make sure you stay) are anything to go by, there are many more films to come. The Gods and the fans will be pleased.

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THE HOST (fans of this genre ★★★★ Non-Fans ★★)

THE MIND GAMES

Australia: 28th March 2013; USA 29th March UK 29th MarchOther Countries:  Release Information 

Stephenie Meyer certainly loves romantic conflict. The author of the best-selling ‘Twilight Saga’ books has done for young female readers and their mothers what Harry Potter did for nine-year olds.  It brought them to read—no mean feat in this technology age where interacting with fantasy worlds with your thumbs is considered far more exciting than with words and imagination.

Whilst reviewers love to critique the quality of the 'Twilight' books and the film adaptations, her fans agree to disagree and continue to spend hundreds of millions of dollars on her products.

So, it was always a given that her other speculative fiction work, ‘The Host’ would become a film to fill the hole created with the conclusion of the ‘Twilight Saga’.

‘The Host’, directed and adapted by Andrew Niccol, along with a highly respected production team and multi-awarded cast including William Hurt, Frances Fisher, Diane Kruger in supporting roles for the young, relatively unknown leads, is not a film for the discerning film-goer who desires a deep, well-fashioned script with sub-plots that will leave them marvelling at the mastery of the film-makers. 

However, it isn’t made for us cinephiles.  It is for the young—and not so young, if my fellow soccer-mom friends are anything to go by—fans of the novel and this fantasy romance sub-genre.  There are millions of these consumers out there and they are prepared to pay to read these books and watch the films and we shouldn’t dissuade them.   They make the publishing and film industry go round.

Stephenie Meyer said she came upon the idea for the 2008 ‘The Host’ (which spent 26 weeks at No. 1 on The New York Times bestseller list and 36 weeks on the Los Angeles Times bestseller list) whilst driving through the desert between Phoenix and Salt Lake City.   “I came on the idea of two personalities in one body. They are both in love with different people, which creates a great deal of conflict. I like messy relationships. They’re fun to work through.”

In this story, our heroine Melanie (Saoirse Ronan) is thrown into conflict when Earth is invaded by an alien race. The invaders do not arrive with laser guns and drones but instead gently place their souls inside their hosts, taking over their bodies.  They are ‘peaceful’ beings and create harmony and balance in the assumed human race.  For the record, because all aliens take over our planet because we “kill each other”, I would like to state I am not one of the violent ones, so surely I should be allowed to keep my body.

When Melanie, one of the last remaining humans, is captured and receives the soul of Wanderer (Wanda), she refuses to relinquish her body to the invader.  So begins a tussle of spirit (and voiceover).  Before her capture Melanie was on the run with her little brother Jamie (Chandler Canterbury) and another survivor Jared Howe (Max Irons).  Jared and Melanie become lovers and it is this love, and her promise to Jamie that she will return to him, that imbues her with the strength to fight Wanda’s control. 

Wanda, though, finds that she cannot inhabit Melanie’s body and not be moved by her strong emotions and memories.  This desire causes them to set out on a dangerous journey to reunite with Melanie’s loved ones. What they find will not be the joyful reunion either imagined.

If you are not a fan of YA books and the fantasy genre, then this film is not for you.   However, there are a lot more like this on the way with three more ‘’Hunger Games’ adaptations, ‘Warm Bodies’, ‘Divergent’, and ‘Pure’ to name a few.  So get used to the idea of star-crossed supernatural romances; there is an invasion coming to a box-office near you and it will be hard to avoid.

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Oz the Great and Powerful ★★★½

WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE PREQUEL


Australia: 7th March 2013; USA 8th March UK 8th March

Other Countries:  Release Information 
 

 

 

Decades ago my Mother leaned into my room and, with a twinkle in her eye, declared her favourite childhood movie was showing that Saturday night on TV.  This is before DVD players and the ability to record a programme, so at the appointed time our family gathered around our wood-cabineted box and marvelled at the wonderful 1939 ‘Wizard of Oz’.  It became my favourite movie too.

Then came the numerous incarnations of Oz, including the Muppets, Ice Capades, animated versions and even Michael Jackson with his own unique take.  Now Disney presents the prequel, "Oz the Great and Powerful" produced by Joe Roth (“Snow White and the Huntsman,” “Alice in Wonderland”) and directed by Sam Raimi (Spiderman Trilogy). 

L. Frank Baum wrote fourteen novels, from 1900-1920, set in the Land of Oz but he never fully portrayed the wizard character’s background in any of his books. Roth found that fact fascinating. “I love origin stories and I liked the idea of how the wizard came to be.  So, going back to Baum’s books to research and imagine his beginnings seemed like a great idea.”
 

 

Oscar Diggs (James Franco), his friends call him OZ, begins his journey (in black and white) as a vaudeville circus magician.  He’s a part-seducer, part-conman and a selfish chap.  As in the original, a freak storm lands him in Oz where the film opens to wide screen and our view erupts into vibrant color.  Before he crash-lands we are treated to a 3D roller-coast ride of thrills as we travel through gorgeous CGI landscapes, over massive waterfalls, through stunning forests, to land in a grove infested with nasty river fairies. Very few films warrant the extra expense of 3D but do hand over your money this time. It’s worth it.
Enter leather-pants-wearing witch Theodora (Mila Kunis). Theodora (who is a truly poor judge of character) mistakenly believes Oz is the legendary great wizard come to save Oz from the devastations wrought by the wicked witch.  Who actually is the wicked witch remains to be seen. 

On their journey to the Emerald Castle, they meet Finley (Zach Braff), a delightful, talking, flying monkey who becomes Oz's assistant of sorts.  The trouble starts when Theodora introduces Oz to her sister Evanora, played malevolently-well by Rachel Weisz.  Oz is offered a fortune in gold if he will destroy the wand of the supposedly evil witch Glinda (Michelle Williams).  Oz sets off down the yellow brick road, on the way picking up, literally, the gorgeous China Doll Girl (Joey King), who, undoubtedly has the best lines in the film.  The rest of the film and the liberation of Oz involves smoke and mirrors and good use of imagination.

Franco was the third choice to play Oz, behind Robert Downey Jnr and Johnny Depp (both declining due to other commitments) and he loved his character. No doubt, the $7 million pay-check proved endearing too.  
 

 “In some ways he touches on many aspects of Americana, while being a cross between Charlie Chaplin and Clark Gable," says Franco.  He also enjoyed another aspect of playing the magician character: he had to learn to perform magic tricks. He explains, “I actually came out two weeks early to work with the great Las Vegas magician Lance Burton. We worked every day. I learned dove tricks and fire tricks as well as pulling things out of hats and making things levitate. And I think I got pretty good!”

Oz is Disney's $200 million dollar bet that they can pull off another “Alice in Wonderland” success (with international grosses of $1 billion).  Whilst I don’t think Disney’s version of Oz will go on to become a favourite childhood movie of many, it still has enough of the right magic to warrant a visit to the cinema.  Whether it was the great idea Joe Roth imagined will be shortly judged at the box office.

 

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The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey ★★★★

THE ADVENTURE OVERFLOWETHS

Australia: 26th December, 2012; USA 14th December UK 13th December
Other Countries: Release Dates

 

Its two hours and forty-sixminutes and, I suspect, therein lays the mixed reviews.  It’s a matter of patience.  My ten year old harsh critic commented positively on the slow beginning, filled with—perish the indulgence—character building, “It’s a three hour film they needed the time to warm up the story.”

Once warmed up though it takes off like a bat troll out of hell. And whether you are a LORD OF THE RINGS fan or, like me (having always thought the films were slightly geeky) not seen all the previous trilogy, this film will thrill both parties.

As the first feature film to utilize state-of-the-art digital cameras to record the action in 3D at 48 frames per second (fps) releasing in High Frame Rate 3D (HFR 3D), Director Peter Jackson has taken a leap into a new cinematic visual experience.  In some action sequences it truly felt like a roller-coaster ride with the crisp beautiful images.  And wait for the fabulous scene where Bilbo Baggins meets the big-eyed neurotic Gollum (Andy Serkis). It looks so real it is hard to believe there isn’t an agent out there for Gollum and mystical creatures.  As most of the trolls and orcs are English accented I imagined them at the pub moaning how the Troll and Magical Creatures Acting Union needed to strike during the next filming to negotiate more gold rings and quality rat meat.

Calling this film an epic adventure is akin to calling Mount Everest just a mountain.  Even the production notes for the film run to eighty-six pages.  But it’s the story that is enthralling, and it begins with elderly hobbit Bilbo Baggins (Ian Holm) recounting to his nephew Frodo  (Elijah Wood) an adventure, sixty years prior. It began with Wizard Gandalf the Grey (Ian McKellen) arriving at his door followed by thirteen dwarves invading his home and wolfing down his food as they plan how best to reclaim the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor from the fearsome Dragon Smaug who has settled in nicely with all their gold.

Young Bilbo (Martin Freeman) is not an adventurous hobbit, personifying the average guy who doesn’t rush out with sword in hand the minute he hears there’s a troll about or fling himself hairy-footed into danger for fun.  Overcoming his trepidation, he joins the dwarves led by legendary warrior Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage) whose Father had once been King of the dwarves until slain by an Orc war-chief.  Their plan is to return to Erebor believing that the dragon may have left. 

Along the way they face one daring encounter after another with all manner of magical creatures: Orcs, Trolls, Elves and more; all in incredible Middle Earth settings, brought to life convincingly by a team of roughly 350 people at Weta Digital.

Stone Street Studios, Peter Jackson’s production facilities in Miramar, New Zealand, has nearly tripled in size and capabilities since the days when he and his team made THE LORD OF THE RINGS Trilogy in a converted paint factory. Building the world of THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY took up the whole of the eight-acre site, encompassing six stages, including the two state-of-the-art stages built specifically for the new Trilogy. It would also involve the construction of nearly 100 sets, the fabrication of thousands of pieces of clothing, prosthetics, wigs, props, and weapons, and take the company from the soundstages in Miramar off to spectacular landscapes across both islands of NewZealand.
 

 

Jackson tells more of a story than was written in Tolkien’s beloved book which has been in print constantly for seventy-five years. The story has been fleshed out from the appendices of the final volume of The Lord of the Rings. “The Hobbit was almost a lifetime’s work for Tolkien,” Jackson attests.  “And a lot of the ideas he had for fleshing out the story—the environment and the politics of the time—are all there.  What became clear to us is that the story has the ability to expand yet still be The Hobbit that everybody knows and loves. So that's what we did, using his notes very much as our blueprint.”

Whether Peter Jackson has overstepped the boundaries with this much loved book will be judged at the box-office.  It wasn’t a film I looked forward to seeing and yet I find myself now counted amongst the fandom of Middle Earth.   It may be a slow warm up but once its boiling most will find that Jackson’s THE HOBBIT has a plot that overflows in an exhilarating way.
 

 

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The Dark Knight Rises ★ ★ ★ ★

Big and weighty but it does rise


Release Dates
Australia: 19th July, 2012 USA 20th July, 2012 UK 20th July, 2012
Other Countries: Release Dates

           During the two hours and forty-four minutes of the ‘The Dark Night Rises’, in my head I wrote three different reviews.  The first review started with "Batman is beyond cool and Director Christopher Nolan’s dark vision is a lesson in creating fascinating well-drawn characters. And wow, Anne Hathaway is a fabulous Cat Woman."

Second review approximately an hour in: “Move it along Mr Nolan, enough already of the miserable Bruce Wayne wallowing in self-pity. Get him a psychologist and stop having your characters repeat themselves.  What an overblown monster film that sinks in the middle.  Now I know why it’s almost three hours long.”

Third review over the last hour: “Finally the Dark Knight does indeed rise and hits meteoric heights with a dramatic premise, a seemingly unstoppable villain and exhilarating chase scenes.”

This final film of Nolan’s trilogy is set eight years later and Nolan wants to explore every question raised in the first two films.  D.A. Harvey Dent’s elevation to idol after his death at Batman’s hands haunts Commissioner Gordon.   Only he knows that Dent died, not as a hero but as the vengeful Two-Face—and that Batman disappeared in the ultimate sacrifice for the greater good of Gotham City. 

Bruce Wayne now a reclusive, hobbling shadow of himself has no interest in the outside world until he encounters master thief Selina Kyle (Anne Hathaway)—better known as Catwoman.  Despite her robbery of his own safe, he is intrigued by her and it is this curiosity that prompts his first steps back to life outside Wayne Manor.

Screenwriter Jonathan Nolan says, “Something about her morally ambiguous philosophy finally gives Batman someone he can relate to. The dynamic between them is so fresh—the playful way she kind of pokes fun at him—it sparks a connection between them and takes some of the somberness away from his character.”

Meanwhile it appears there is a new villain in the city, Bane (an unrecognizable mouth-manacled, Tom Hardy).  Malevolent and physically brutal he personifies evil and embarks on a master plan that is not clear.  One thing is clear is that only Batman can save Gotham from him. 

Batman is not alone in his fight, Miranda Tate (Marion Cotillard), a wealthy philanthropist on the board of Wayne Enterprises, and police officer John Blake (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) join him as enthusiastic allies in thwarting the latest threat.  Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman) returns as the ultimate gadget man and Michael Caine gives his usual perfect performance as an Alfred who no longer wishes to stand by as his master risks his life and happiness. 

In all three Dark Knight films the characters are the central focus, even more than the action.  Producer Emma Thomas affirms, “Right from the start, Chris set out to make each of these films something that could not be categorized into any one genre.

With this film, Nolan completes the story arc he commenced with 2005’s “Batman Begins.” He recalls, “We felt a tremendous sense of responsibility to fulfill expectations based on the first two movies while giving the audience something they hadn’t seen before. It was a tricky balance.”

 “In deciding on who the next villain would be, it was imperative that it was someone completely different from the Joker—that he be a brute force.” 

In one compelling scene Batman and Bane endure a lengthy fist fight in which it seems Batman may not triumph.  “This scene required very intense preparation,” says Nolan.  “When it came time to shoot, Christian and Tom worked extremely well together. It was frighteningly real, and quite intimidating to see these iconic, larger-than-life characters really go at it. There are plenty of other large-scale action scenes in the film, but that face-to-face confrontation between these two adversaries was something I really felt was the centerpiece of the film.”

Arguably, Batman’s greatest assets are his vehicles and he finally goes “wheels up,” thanks to Lucius Fox’s latest contribution to his arsenal: The Bat. Nolan and production designer Nathan Crowley, collaborated on the design of the state-of-the-art airborne machine.  “There are a lot of moving parts: the cockpit opens; the aerial flaps all operate; and it has working rotors and lights. It’s nearly 30 feet long and 17 feet wide and weighs about 3,000 pounds; it’s a big piece of machinery.”

As the rise and fall, and rise again, of this last Dark Knight instalment draws to a close in the final scenes, there will be no disgruntled patrons in any cinema.  It may be a little long, it may be a little too dark, and it may be we’ve learnt a little more about Batman than we care to know.  However, there is enough greatness here to overcome the lag.  In an age where blockbusters are manufactured to please rather than provoke, most will forgive Nolan’s indulgences in this grandly imagined and passionately executed conclusion, which appears to leave more than a few doors open for another series.

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The Amazing Spider-Man ★ ★ ★ ½

STICKING WITH A GOOD THING

Release Dates
Australia 4th July, 2012 USA 22nd 3rd July, 2012 UK 3rd July, 2012

Other Countries Release Dates

When you still have merchandise from the last version of the film, à la Spiderman carry bag, t-shirts and baseball cap, is it a touch too soon to restart the franchise?  The Amazing Spider-Man™ is marketed as the untold story of our webbed hero.  Despite some elements remaining of the original story there is an unfolding mystery and a new villain.  For the Spiderman officiados this franchise could be arguably a truer portrayal of the comic book story.

In The Amazing Spider-Man™ the story begins with seven-year-old Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) and the mysterious disappearance of his parents which leaves him orphaned and in the care of his Uncle Ben (Martin Sheen) and Aunt May (a perfect Sally Fields).  It is in these early scenes we learn more of the Peter Parker history barely mentioned in the original.

Returning to the familiar ground of Peter’s teenage years we understand better the emotional impact of his parent’s disappearance.  He is introverted by choice but carrying a strong sense of humanity as opposed to being the bullied geek.  Gwen Stacy (always perky Emma Stone)—introduced in Issue 31, December 1965 of the comic series—is Peter Parker’s first crush. 

In searching for answers about his parents, Peter uncovers information leading him to Oscorp and the lab of his Father’s ex-partner Dr. Curt Connors (Rhys Ifans).  There Dr. Connors is searching for the key to cross-species genetics to cure the world’s health and physical disabilities, and most notably regrow his own missing arm.

Of course, Spiderman is nothing without the inevitable spider bite and we are into original story territory with the struggles and fun of discovering his new abilities.  When Connors injects himself with untested serum, he evolves into the megalomaniac, Lizard. I know—it does sound weird but I’m informed Lizard is one of Spiderman’s most famous enemies, although perhaps unknown to fans of the earlier films.  Who would think a Lizard could be so much trouble?

Director Marc Webb explains, “There are a lot of things in the Spider-Man canon that haven’t been explored cinematically—the loss of Peter’s parents launches him on his journey.  I was curious about the emotional consequence of that tragic event.  Then, of course, we have the Gwen Stacy saga and there’s the Lizard, one of my favorite villains in comics.  All of that gave us a lot to work with.”

Webb wanted to explore a new dimension of the Peter Parker story and tell it in a more naturalistic way.  “I wanted the fun, the spectacle, the action, the rage, and the humor to feel more realistic—like you walk out on the street and you can imagine this happening.”

As a result, the filmmakers chose to create The Amazing Spider-Man using practical, real-world elements whenever possible and choosing visual effects only when strictly necessary.

Sony Pictures Imageworks—which previously handled VFX duties on director Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man trilogy—returns to oversee the visual effects on The Amazing Spider-Man.  New animation and rendering technology was developed at Imageworks in order to create the incredible detail of the Lizard’s scales and the movement of his muscles beneath the skin.

One such technique involved the use of a stuntman—dressed in black to help his digital “removal” during the post process—posing as a stand-in for the Lizard during a key action sequence at Peter Parker’s high school. To fully convey the illusion that Spider-Man is grappling and being tossed around by a nine-foot-tall mutated Lizard, the stuntman (who was almost seven feet tall himself!) would grapple with Andrew Garfield. Later, the stuntman was removed and the CG Lizard animated to have motion that coincided with Garfield’s movements.  The meshing of the real physics of the actor and the CG animation of the Lizard create a visceral illusion of Peter Parker fighting for his life.

The attempt to revisit a successful franchise so soon was a courageous move and it could have been a fail.  But The Amazing Spider-Man™ is a big fun romp, especially in IMAX 3D, with some young energetic actors and solid golden oldies. Even better, this time round I save on merchandise. And the must-have movie T-shirt I’m usually begged to buy...you’ve already got one, almost brand new.

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Snow White & the Huntsman ★ ½

ONCE UPON A TIME IN A PRODUCTION MEETING


Release Dates
Australia 21st June, 2012   USA 22nd 1st June, 2012   UK 30th May, 2012
Other Countries Release Dates

In the darkened cinema—made darker by the bleak grey palette used in ‘Snow White and The Huntsman’—my mind wandered. That’s what happens when the film is agonizingly slow.  You start thinking about the school run and that book you must finish and what to cook for dinner tomorrow night. 
               Eventually, my thoughts turned to the production meetings I imagined occurred in bringing this film to screen to darken my evening. Hear this conversation in multiple enthusiastic American accented voices.  Like Chris Hemsworth, I am an Australian, and just like him I can’t do foreign accents.

An Office in La-La Land

‘We have Kristen Stewart and she’ll bring all the Twihards.’

‘Plus we’ve got Charlize Theron.  She’s looking fabulous and got that Oscar too; so there’s credibility there.  She’ll get in the men—and the women (she has that appeal).'

‘And then we’ve got Chris Hemsworth.  Oh yes, yes, we all know he  can’t do accents (#&%*? Australian accent always slips through).  But look, as long as his hair is long and he’s still swinging something around that reminds them he’s Thor then nobody will care.’

‘The Dwarves though, they’re a problem.  There are no famous dwarf actors.  We can’t use the Oompa Loompa or that mini-me guy, they’re not craggy enough looking.  No, what we’ll do is we’ll get well known full size character actors and use CGI to make them look like dwarves.  Nah, nah, don’t worry about the “Dwarves Actor Union”—we’ll tell ‘em we may be remaking ‘Wizard of Oz’.  That’ll shut ‘em up.’

‘If only we hadn’t stuck these three writers (John Lee Hancock, Hossein Amini, Evan Daugherty) together we could have just got cheaper actors and probably made something interesting.  Separately, they’ve done well for themselves but for some reason they just can’t patch this one together.  They all want their contribution to have equal time on the screen, which has turned it into over two hours of sludge.  But they’re standing firm and we’ve got contracts.’

‘And the Director?  Look everyone’s sick of seeing Spielberg above the title and Ridley is off in space again.  J.J. Abrams, well, he’s good but we need a conclusion here and after “Lost”, we don’t trust that he won’t end it with Snow White really never waking up and it was all set in Heaven. 
There’s this guy, Rupert Sanders.  Nobody’s heard of him—he hasn’t even got a proper bio on IMDB—but his video game commercials are pretty good and that really gives him great experience to handle a big budget Hollywood movie. So he’s not gonna complain or upset the writers or demand any more time and money be spent on the script.  No, he’ll be grateful, he got the job.'    

       ‘Then what we’ll do is start releasing really impressive CGI trailers a year out from the in-cinema date.  Really feature Charlize in them.  Put her in a milk bath and have her come up out of that with it covering her. That’ll get them interested.’

‘Don’t forget Kristen.  Get her to stare blankly at the camera just like she did in all the Twilight movies; and put her in chain mail and get her to hurl a sword around like she means it.  Thats a bit different from Twilight. They didn't give her a weapon, just a bad attitude.’

‘Put a lot of grabs of Chris with mud on his face and scenes with Kristen, like some romance is going to happen, even if it’s not.  And hair—get good shots of his long hair.  CGI it, if you have to.  We’re up against “Brave” and that one’s got good hair.’

‘And get Entertainment Tonight on the phone.  Tell ‘em we’ll fly Mark over to the set and he can interview Charlize.  Tell her to tell him that its great fun to be evil even if she has to shout in every scene.  Get one of the girl interviewers as well to fly over and stand outside a castle swooning as she interviews Chris Hemsworth about his new baby.  And make sure his hair is still long and tell him to use the Australian accent—we want it now—oh that’s the only accent he can do?  Right.  Right.’

'Now we’ve got the previews to do and we need to get passed those reviewers who may pick up it’s a bit of a dud.  Those useless scriptwriters—should have used dwarves.  Get the publicists to give ‘em a drink when they arrive.  And apples, get apples and put them everywhere—even put them in gift bags with other irrelevant stuff. No, no, we can’t put poison in the reviewer’s apples.  Too obvious.’

'Now we’ve got them sitting there, it’s our last chance to do something positive, let’s play them the spoiler trailer of the movie they are about to see.  Then let’s show them how we made the movie.  Show them the CGI.  I bet they wouldn’t realise we used CGI to make the troll or makeup to make one of the characters old.  Then tell them about the music. The music is really good.  We’ve got James Newton Howard.  He does all the big ones and Florence and the Machine.  She wrote a special song.  Maybe we can get some money back on the soundtrack.  Can’t hurt.'

'Oh and get Chris Hemsworth in again telling everyone how good the film and Director is, and tell him he can use his Australian accent.  Right, right, I forget that’s all he uses.  Is his hair still long?  Good, good.  Get him to Sydney for the Australian opening. Tell them he’s been surfing. That’s what they do in Australia in their spare time.  Can you get Kristen to Australia and get her in the reel?  Tell her to smile when she talks about the filming.  Oh, she doesn’t smile.  It’s in her contract?  Why?  Why can’t she smile?  Too many years as Twilight’s Bella, and everyone knows smiling gives you wrinkles.  Shame—pretty girl.'

‘Of course, it’s a good idea to show an audience how a film is made just before they see the film.  They want the spoilers and they know it’s just an illusion on screen, so why wouldn’t you tell them everything?  No there can’t possibly be reviewers who avoid pre-knowledge about a film before they see it, so they can experience it fresh as a ticket-paying film-goer would.’

‘Oh dear the reviews are coming in and it didn’t work.  Told you we should have put something in the apples.   Look on the bright side, we’ve still got “Alice in Wonderland” to our name and Johnny Depp is still returning our calls.' 

'Any more of these fairy tales we could have a swing at?  What about that “Rumpelstiltskin?  Get the Dwarf Union on the phone—tell ‘em we can make it up to them.  There’s a part for a baby and one of their members.  Wait, wait, hold that thought, get Depp on the phone.  Ask him does he mind if we digitize his body to make him shorter?  It’s a fairy tale for $#@&*’s sake, how can it fail?’

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Wrath of the Titans ★ ★ ★

Feel the Wrath, Stay for the Creatures

Release Dates
Australia 29th March 2012 USA & UK 30th March 2012

Other Countries Release Dates

 

One of the first movies I ever saw at the cinema was the 1963 ‘Jason and the Argonauts’.  The fight scene with the skeletons is still vividly etched in my mind as one of the highlights of my early movie going days.  Apparently, this one three minute scene took four months to produce in those days before computers.

Thanks to ‘Jason’, I have a soft spot for these Gods versus Mortals films.  They are not popular with the critics, with good cause.  As I watched ‘Wrath of the Titans’, I attempted to remember the plot of its predecessor, the 2010 ‘Clash of the Titans’.  But it had become hopelessly muddled in my mind with ‘Prince of Persia’, the recent ‘The Immortals’, and possibly even a few ‘Mummy’ films. 

These films all have one thing in common, they are a boy's own adventure if a boy were allowed to let his imagination run wild.  An in-depth plot is the last thing we are meant to expect.  They are squarely aimed at those who enjoy big men leaping around with swords and tridents, fighting ancient creatures breathing fire and lava, and battling Gods who are pretty handy with lightening. ‘Wrath of the Titans’ is another episode in this fantasy genre.

A decade after his heroic defeat of the monstrous Kraken, Perseus (Sam Worthington), the demigod son of Zeus (Liam Neeson) is attempting to live quietly as a village fisherman as the sole parent to his 10-year-old son, Helius.

 The Gods, however, are not living peacefully, and are losing their immortality thanks to the mortal’s lack of devotion.  Kronos, the father of the long-ruling brothers Zeus, Hades (Ralph Fiennes) and Poseidon (Danny Huston) is rotting in the dungeon of Tartarus in the cavernous Underworld.

Hades, fearing the loss of his immortality, hatches a plan with Ares (Édgar Ramírez) Zeus’s son—who has a real inferiority complex when it comes to his half-brother Perseus.  Together, they capture Zeus, imprisoning him in Tartarus, in order for Kronos to siphon off his power in order to take over the world again and punish the mortals.

Perseus, determined to rescue Zeus, begins an odyssey, accompanied by warrior Queen Andromeda (Rosamund Pike), Poseidon’s demigod son Agenor (Toby Kebbell), and fallen god Hephaestus (Bill Nighy) searching for way into Tartarus to free Zeus.  Along the way, he must fight some powerful mythological creatures and navigate his way through a dangerous revolving labyrinth.

“There’s truly a smorgasbord of action to be had in this movie,” says visual effects supervisor and second unit director Nick Davis, who also worked on the first film.

As the title indicates, 'Wrath of the Titans' called forth some mammoth and mythical adversaries to pit against Perseus: the multi-headed Chimera, three one-eyed Cyclops, an army of double-bodied Makhai, and one powerful, menacing Minotaur. His most formidable opponent is, of course, Kronos, the gargantuan, father of Zeus, Hades and Poseidon, who is on the verge of breaking free and bringing hell down on the earth.

The first foe Perseus meets is the Chimera, a fire-breathing beast with the heads of a lion and goat, dragon-like wings and a vicious snake’s head at the end of its tail.

The creature was primarily produced via CG, but the damage it created was a combination of visual and special effects. Neil Corbould, special effects supervisor on both this and the prior film, explains, “In order to keep the audience guessing ‘Was that real? Was that CG?’ I find it’s better to marry the computer elements with practical ones, for a more seamless end result. It allows the atmosphere you generate—in this case, bits of ash or other light materials—to interact with the actors as well. So the destruction brought about by the Chimera was achieved on set, and enhanced later by the visual effects team.”

The strength of this film is in its visual effects and full on action, so don’t expect more than average dialogue scenes.  Even if the actors keeping their own accents are a little puzzling, the action is convincing.  If I think back to my first brush with the Gods in “Jason”, it wasn’t the story that I remember; it was the relenting and merciless skeletons advancing on Jason.  Don’t see this for the plot or the acting; see it for the wonderful monsters and creatures. Just like ‘Jason’s’ skeletons, they’re memorable.

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